I had an epiphany a few months ago. I was talking to a man I highly respect about my shortcomings. He started grinning and said lightly, “welcome to the human race.” That’s when it struck me. Am I human?
I’ve lived for years on the treadmill of productivity. I judged things as pass/fail. When I fell short of expectations I flunked. His comment was like a smack in the head. Did I ever think of myself as human? I certainly didn’t treat myself as one.
We all have lists and obligations. Many of us live on the treadmill of productivity. It can drive you to ruin.
Expectations, real or perceived, can push you to madness. Definitely to exhaustion.
My expectations started from childhood with my parents. I became even harder on myself as I got older. I pushed myself as a means to an end. It was worth it but it’s not sustainable.
The more we take on, the less we accomplish. Worse yet, we get so focused on being productive, we get tunnel vision. Loved ones and friends get lost in the process.
I went down the rabbit hole so deep that time escaped me. Months and sometimes years would zip by at warp speed. One year I didn’t know it was Thanksgiving. I went to the grocery store the night before, not knowing why it was mobbed. I asked a person what was going on. He looked at me like I was from another planet and told me “Thanksgiving is tomorrow.” It was then that I knew I needed to change.
No matter how hard you try, you can’t control anything. The world is always in a state of chaos. That’s its brand.
The only thing you can control is how you respond to the chaos.
I’ve had to come to terms with this concept. Things drive me crazy, people drive me crazy. I can’t change those circumstances.
My response to chaos may not be for everyone. I pray. Trust me, this prayer works!
There’s something cathartic about surrender. It lets you unload your burden. Sometimes, as I say this prayer, I think:
Please take this… I don’t want it.
I’ve found this works to help me release the built-up stress and pressure. It’s lowered my blood pressure thankfully.
I also give myself permission. After all, I’m only human.
By acknowledging my humanity, I’m giving myself the kindness I give to others. I’m nicer to other people than I am to myself!
I hold myself to a much higher standard than I do everyone else.
Give yourself a break. No one keeps score, you shouldn’t either.
Everyone is a mess. Being human is super messy, and confusing. Truthfully, people don’t make sense. We’re so complex in personality that it’s mindblowing.
Giving yourself permission is easy and simple. You tell yourself whatever is happening (or not happening) is okay. No harm no foul.
Here’s my first try at this:
I had been sick for quite a while. Our home was turning into a total mess. It was making me crazy. I was itching to clean up but I’d hurt myself. I had to tell myself it was okay to live in a messy home. This wasn’t easy for me at first, but every time I looked at something that bugged me, I said, “it's okay, you can let this go.” I got a lot of practice at this.
Our inner voices can do a real number on our psyche. We can negative-talk ourselves into and out of things with ease.
We are our harshest critics.
I know I am.
I didn’t realize I was until a friend heard me call myself stupid. (I do that a lot it seems) She got on me about saying mean things to myself. It came as a shock to both of us. She thought I was horrible to myself, and I was shocked she was shocked!
Now I listen to the nasty words and tell it to shut up. Yes, I’m nasty back. It’s gotta go somewhere.
I wonder where these inner voices get these ideas. Is it us or influences we’ve been exposed to?
There’s a beautiful solution to this problem. I loved the idea as soon as I heard it.
It’s called Giving Yourself Grace
By choosing to be kind to yourself instead of being critical, you’re healing the wounds that these thoughts create.
It’s a beautiful gift to be human. We should take good care of it. We’re all alive for a reason. It’s not a random thing.
Acknowledging we’re human means being a work in progress. Trial and error every day.
Some days you pat yourself on the back that you made it through. On other days you do your best to get by.
Living one day at a time is magic.
It puts things into the perfect perspective. There’s nothing behind you and nothing in front of you. Just the here and now.
Live In the Moment
It’s all we truly have.